Things I Love: #1 My Marmalade Badger

May 22, 2013 by Nick

Life With Felines

I have always loved cats, and except for a few years of my life I’ve always lived with one. They are wonderful creatures: selfish, lazy, honest, demanding, inattentive and beautiful. In many respects they succeed in traits normally considered despicable in humans. On reflection I strongly dislike most humans (I am being gentle here) and find the company of cats infinitely preferable. This a shameless post about our beloved cat.

Yes?
I have you!

Merlin or Merly

We’ve had our little Ginger Angel for a few years now. She came to us after our previous cat Spats died (giving every impression that she died doing what she loved – killing smaller animals. We were devastated and found it very hard to live without her. To those who do not share their lives with non-humans I realise this may seem somewhat ridiculous, but I’d trade you one of your humans for a kitten any day of the week. Merly was then living with my step-mum’s sister, but due to work arrangements was becoming rather lonely living with just a mental dog. We took her in and have since indulged her indolent, noisy lifestyle. Her original name was Merlin, but she’s a lady-cat and something about her rather sweet nature suggested the diminutive ‘Merly’ instead. She has subsequently acquired many names: Marmalade Badger, Picklemoose, Bookin, Booxunamoon (her Egyptian name), Booclid (Greek), Squeaklepurr, Bumblebear and many other likely nauseatingly sweet names.

Silence.

You cannot see me.

She Sleeps All Day, She Sleeps All Night

Merly sleeps for about twenty two hours a day, or at least has a damn good go at doing so. She’s slimmed down a bit as she’s gotten older, but not through resisting food. When she’s awake she is very noisy, and exhibits the widest range of odd purrs, chirrups and squeaks I’ve ever encountered. I shall record some of her weird sounds for a future record. She also has deep, plush fur. That seems to be common with gingerbeasts, but Merly’s the first ginger kit I’ve lived with so it’s new to me. She’s fond of stomping over us when we sleep, and I find her purr (loud and deep) will send me straight to sleep if she’s lying on me.

She’s got sooo much fur!

These claws are to keep you at bay.

Happiness Made of Fluff

There are two people there when I get home and Merly is one of them. Between them they make my life worthwhile and bring me a sense of peace and happiness I have rarely known.

Gig Report: Knickerbocker Glorious #1

May 21, 2013 by Nick

Derby Needs Music and Comedy

Furthest From The Sea, a record and promotions group in Derby has started up a monthly live, free arts and entertainment show in Derby Market Place on the third Saturday of the month. Matt McGuinness, the insanely busy front man for Karl and The Marx Brothers dragged me into it. I was originally due to perform a series of Captain Pigheart’s pirate stories throughout the day, but the unfortunate illness of the compere, Tony ‘BigIssue’ Peppiatt (a splendid man) meant that I ended up compering the whole day! It was excellent fun, once I’d consumed a mammoth quantity of caffeine (thank you Caffe Nero for filling a large mug with espressos).

I got the chance to rail at drunks, berate children for asking foolish questions (we’re performing where there is usually a fountain, hence “where’s the water?” I suppose), fill gaps by chuckling at the other performers, terrify some kids who wanted to be chased by a growling pirate, and see a bunch of friends! We’ve also received a decent amount of local press coverage. I have a picture with the lovely dancing ladies and everything!

The Acts

Harriet

I’ve done a couple of gigs with Harriet, and excepting her appalling youth (18!) she is a wonderful singer. She also peppers her act with dreadful jokes which still make me laugh and she can endure me improvising about her pineapple juice addiction.

You can find her gigging constantly in Derby and Nottingham. I see her photograph everywhere I go. It’s a bit creepy.

https://www.facebook.com/Harriet.livemusic

Lily Gornall

I like Spoken Word (it’s what I do after all) and poetry has a fascinating effect on audiences. It’s a nice break from music and means people have to pay attention.

Lily’s poems are funny and modern in content, so there was much for the crowd to empathise with.

She has a book! Buy her book from Amazon. Villa of Pain and Other Funny Poems/

Josh Kemp

I had completely forgotten that I already knew Josh because he played one half of ‘His N Hers’ a creepy brother-sister double-act in Lloydie’s play An HR’d Day’s Night. He’s one of those magical people who uses pedal-powered loop things to perform as a one-man band. Every time he stops singing or playing yet the music continues it blows my tiny mind…. He’s got a great pop music thing going.

http://www.joshkempmusic.webs.com/

Arjana Dance

Belly dancers! In Derby, barefoot and (seemingly) barely clad with nothing but a carpet to separate them from the ground. They dance beautifully. I have no meaningful descriptions for dancing, but their delighted grins captivated the audience. I have only once before performed with dancers, I look forwards to doing it again.

http://www.dianamehiradance.webs.com/

Leo Swarvett

Another poet, loud and demanding on the audience! Leo has lots of fun wordplay which I enjoyed and he bounds about most dynamically. He has some very strange poems… well worth catching if you see him around (just remember to release him back into the wild).

Captain Pigheart

I almost left myself out! The fool… Since I was also compering I switching between personas which I always find slightly confusing. Still, I feel that the frantic babble-o-tron is my primary USP as a compere: I will fill every gap, whether it’s with a list of the medical benefits of pineapple juice or a lament on the literacy of youth (both from Saturday). I read a few different stories, with a mediocre effort to edit out any specifically family-unfriendly references as you can tell from the list below. It’s hard to edit out whoring, greasing large wenches or fisting whales once you’re in full flow…

The Cetacean Adventure

The Blundering Buccaneer

The Gastronomical Adventure

The Missing Metacarpal Adventure

Next Show

Furthest From The Sea

The next Knickerbocker Glorious is on Saturday 15th June

http://www.derbycathedralquarter.co.uk/CQGlorious

Even better – the full Furthest From The Sea Acoustic and Comedy Festival is Saturday 29th June in Derby Market Place – ALL day, ALL FREE

This week, Monday 20th May 2013

May 20, 2013 by Nick

Spain? That’s A Different Country.

Last week was pretty hectic (for me) – Monday evening teaching improv, Tuesday evening doing improv, I don’t remember Wednesday, Thursday evening doing improv and Friday evening I was in a TV coma. Saturday I got up early to go and compere Derby’s Knickerbocker Glorious event. Then returned to a TV coma. Phew. This week will be slightly less busy, which means might even get some stuff done.

The long awaited training phase has kicked in at work, although I’m delivering the least because of my other mind-numbing, stress-inducing tasks. It’s a relief to finally be approaching the end (of the beginning). At the very least, training is time out of the office and away from people driving you insane because of their own solipsistic narcissism. In the training room, you mine bitch (sorry, it’s a film hangover). We had quite a lot of fun in Fridays’s event, so it was a good end to variably shitty week. I find that I lead two lives – daytime and evening and I become very resentful when the day bleeds into night.

♥ This week’s scribbles

Tuesday Gig Report: Knickerbocker Glory #1

I love the fabulously talented people I get to work with, so I figured you’d probably like them too.

Wednesday Things I Love: #1 My Marmalade Badger

We have a cat, she is adorable.

Thursday The Desert Crystals – Part Nine: The Abyss, She Cries So Sweet

In the darkness there’s always something listening to you breathe.

Friday Book Review: The Air War (Shadows of the Apt Book Eight) by Adrian Tchaikovsky (2012)

This is one of the best series I’ve ever read.

Updates on my thrilling life

Writing

My increased day and evening activity is doing nothing for my writing productivity. I am having to be very disciplined just to get the next chapter of The Desert Crystals done. I am pleased to note that it’s now at part 9, which makes it the longest thing I’ve written in a very long time. It is also sooooo far off course right now that it’s going to take at least that many words to get it back on track.
Last week’s scribbles

Tuesday Shankicide: Shivving with Death Poetry What’s a little angry poem between friends?

Wednesday Lego Blog: Lunchtime Building It’s a good way to fill the middle of the day.

Thursday The Desert Crystals – Part Eight: Running Blind Lost and alone in a cave. Doesn’t sound promising.

Friday Film Review: Iron Man 3 (2013) Brilliant fun.

Lego

Aaaaaah, the sweet schinkle of Lego bricks. I have finally roofed the ‘Boba Fett’ house I’ve been tinkering with for weeks. It now does not fit on the shelf. This is an annoyance. However I am now able to move on with the general decoration and camouflage I have in mind. It’s still going to be some weeks of half-hours before it’s fit for presentation mind.

While in Derby on Saturday, we took our pal Martin to the toy shops in the enormous labyrinth that is the Westfield centre. I have previously become entirely lost within its perplexing mirrored shapes. There’s a decent The Entertainer in there (as there is in Nottingham, but since we usually only get into Nottingham on a Sunday we can’t go in as they have a rather backward religious attitude to being open on that most useful of days). That has a decent range of Lego, including the new Lego Friends series 2 animal sets. They have a Lego hedgehog! Awesome. We also went to the more impressive Toy Planet which packs a metric fucktonne of stuff into a very small shop. We stared at the Lego wall for some time…. Eventually I emerged with just the Lego Monster Fighters ‘Swamp Monster’ who has great eyes.

Improv Comedy

On Monday Parky and I met the 9 brave souls who are doing the MissImp Improv Beginners course. They’re ace! And also one of the most awesomely diverse groups I’ve worked with. We all very much enjoyed the first session and it was really interesting to see people begin to emerge from their shells. I was also impressed by the speed with which folk assimilated ‘yes and’. We’ll see if it’s stuck during the week…
Incandescent rage on Tuesday meant that I could only attend Fisticuffs for a little while, but we did some lovely scenes off a monologue by Ben about Warhammer “bear me aloft” is my new catchphrase. In any event it did a good job of chilling me out.

Media Intake

Books

I finished The Air War which is why I’m reviewing it this week. I’ve moved on to a really peculiar little tome by Louis Sachar called The Cardturner. It is very much about Bridge (the card game) and the need to inherit money from one’s richer family members. I’m finding it intriguing although the Bridge talk is blowing my mind. I really struggle to learn and remember how to play any card game; I’ve no idea why – I suspect I just don’t care enough to; but Bridge is well, gosh… complex. The author has a lovely device of a whale image preceding a long description of the game (read it yourself to find out why) so you can skip it if you wish and just read the summary at the end of the chapter. It’s a clever way to keep the reader (me) engaged by colluding with my intellectual laziness.

Films

Well, Star Trek: Into Darkness was awful. I tried to enjoy it while it was on, but it made me cringe throughout. It’s dialogue is scarcely better than Fast and Furious 6. Seriously. Both are terrible, but the latter made me laugh a lot more (which seemed to upset the very earnest teens watching the film at Cineworld Nottingham). To fully explore why the new Star Trek film is so bad would take me several hours. I think for now I’ll just go for painfully lazy, disappointingly predictable and well, disappointing.

Chris Pine is still a strikingly poor actor and (unrelated to the film) you can see the future fat man already breaking out of his face. Oh, and Simon Pegg. I usually like the chap, but he is a terrible Scotty. Oh, I’m ranting. Oh well… The entire cast is outacted by Benedict Cumberbatch who plays the largely emotionless but occasionally enraged (oh, it’s going to be Khan isn’t is? It can’t be. That would be too fucking stupid and lazy. Oh no.) Khan. It’s alright though, he’s swiftly defeated because he’s not really the villain (that’s Robocop) and sigh… Finally it ends and the credit sequence shows lots of more exciting and interesting planets.

Television

Extreme exhaustion pushed me to stare at the TV on Friday and Saturday nights to catch up to only a week or so behind with our favourite brain-killers. I’m enjoying the current series of Doctor Who. The more alien Matt Smith’s character becomes the more I like him. We saw Neil Gaiman’s Cyberman episode with the lovely cyberworms and cybermind – it was a nice version of Star Trek: The Next Generation’s Best of Both Worlds with the Borgified Jean-Luc Picard. Funnier though.

We’re also catching up with our crop of US crime ‘dramas’: The Mentalist is still ticking over well as the search for Red John continues. I do love watching Patrick Jane destroying any chance at conviction due to entrapment and manipulation. It’s a nice skeptical programme which challenges a lot of magical thinking and parasitic frauds. NCIS now has Jamie Lee Curtis in it! We were surprised, but pleased to see Gibbs maybe get a new ‘head of PsyOps’ girlfriend. Most wonderfully, Justified is back with numerous bangs. This is series 4 I think and it still delights me as much as Deadwood did – having a similar cast helps, but mostly it’s the delightfully lyrical dialogue that I love the most; rarely have shootouts and gang bosses spoken so poetically.

Events and Excitement

MissImp in Action – Friday 31st May

8.30pm at The Glee Club, Nottingham.
High energy improvised comedy show.

Weeks That Have Come Before

This week, Monday 29th April 2013 (captainpigheart.com)
This week, Monday 6th May 2013 (captainpigheart.com)
This week, Monday 13th May 2013 (captainpigheart.com)

Film Review: Iron Man 3 (2013)

May 17, 2013 by Nick

I must first confess that I am predisposed to love this film. I’ve been very satisfied with the recent crop of Marvel movies; even the weaker entries like Captain America were still very enjoyable. I’m delighted that we’ve finally reached the point where superhero films tend to be good (we’ll skip the abysmal shitstorms of X-Men 3, Green Lantern and Ghost Rider and the disappointment of Superman Returns and the last Batman) – partly that’s because they can look right. Great care has been taken to transfer comics to the screen without the garish costumes and without carrying over the (now) convoluted plots and multiple worlds problems of the comic series. Film makers are also putting good actors in all roles, and although they’re basically action flicks, the scripting and screen writing is much better. The Avengers series are all pleasingly linked (now under Joss Whedon‘s care) and the stings at the end of credits have been reason enough to see them all.

So – Iron Man 3. I’ve read a number of disappointed reviews and friends have told me it just ain’t that good. I was a bit worried. Number two in the series wasn’t great, certainly not as enjoyable as the brilliant introduction to Robert Downey Jr‘s smug, snappy, flawed Tony Stark. Iron Man 3 is set after the events in Avengers Assemble and we have a wonderful stressed, PTSD suffering Stark hiding away from the world. Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) is running Stark Industries and the other Avengers are nowhere to be seen. The time is ripe for terrorism! The Mandarin is the bad guy and there are folk who have been medically enhanced to be super-hot (not just Guy Pearce hot, but burning hot).

This film is about Stark and how he relates to the world in the wake of Loki’s invasion. Most of the first half of it is setup and character detail for Stark, Potts and the bad guys. It’s all brilliant, as usual Stark’s cockiness is deflated by lab accidents (his new flying component armour results in decent slapstick throughout the film), by jealousy and sulky pettishness. There’s a lot of relationship tension between Stark and Potts which rings pretty true for someone suffering from trauma. They both get given great lines too. Once the film’s action kicked in as well I was thrilled. The total destruction of his home, his arsenal and life is surprisingly affecting.

From there we end up for a while in a very odd-seeming sub-plot where he gets aid from a young lad. In any other film this would be terrible. It’s never good when a hero gets a child sidekick, but that is subverted wonderfully. Stark is incredibly mean to the kid; it’s very funny and sad. It’s a nice way of exposing another side to the increasingly brittle Stark as he puts the kid down and has panic attacks.

There’s very little else I can say without giving away vital surprises. Suffice to say that this the best role Ben Kingsley has had (possibly…) in my lifetime. He’s a fine rent-an-athnic Englishman and he really nails this one. I can also assure you that the trailer-promised multi-suit showdown is very satisfying, with the CGI-smash being huge but strictly background to the one on one punchup between Stark and The Mandarin. Fans should be as happy as I was to point out the different suits – the big Hulk suit made me smile. Oh, and Pepper gets some cool stuff to do too (though she and the other female character do mostly need to be saved, which is a bit of a let down).

Watch it! I loved it and still do days later. I may even revisit Iron Man 2 with the knowledge that it will be improved upon enormously. Oh, and do stay for the sting after the credits. It’s not a series linker like the others but it made me laugh.

Film Review: Wreck-It Ralph (captainpigheart.com)
Film Review: Hansel & Gretel – Witch Hunters (captainpigheart.com)
Film Review: The Nanny (1965) (captainpigheart.com)
Film Review: Welcome To The Punch (2013) (captainpigheart.com)
Film Review: Olympus Has Fallen (2013) (captainpigheart.com)

The Desert Crystals – Part Eight: Running Blind

May 16, 2013 by Nick

Part 8 - Running Blind

Desert Crystals1

The scream, when it came, echoed limply from the damp walls and squeaked back into Jacob’s ears. He had awoken, as if from a terrible dream – bound tightly in sweat-soaked sheets, the stench of his own fear and clammy limbs as oppressive as the nightmare from which he’d escaped – into a darkness that even the cellars of his grandfather had never conjured as punishment for misbehaviour. It was when he recalled that he was a man, a man lost in the air, kidnapped by a frightful beast and stolen away into this lightless place in the heart of an impossible mountain that the scream began to work its way up his throat. As the memories flashed forwards he retched, remembering the sensations that immediately preceded his flight into unconsciousness.

Discovering that he could not open his mouth, nor tell if his eyes were open save by scratching at them with sweaty fingers, only urged on the screams so desperate to escape from his tortured throat. Jacob convulsed with fear, snapping away the bonds that held him kneeling in place. Brittle edges scraped his shoulders and knees as he staggered upright and promptly fell backwards, landing on what felt like broken branches. He reeled back from that and fell. He did not fall far, but those few moments stretched into an eternity before he smacked down on a hard, dusty surface.

Jacob gasped for the breath that was knocked out of him and clawed at his face. A thickly congealed layer of awful viscous slime lay across his mouth. Jacob tore it shudderingly from his lips and teeth, gagging as he ripped gelatinous stalactites that had formed inside his mouth. His breathing ragged he peeled the stuff more carefully from his eyes, easing the jellied tears from under his eyelids and casting it as far from where he crouched as possible. He just squatted there for a minute, catching his breath.

Whatever had bound him before forcing it’s ghastly droolings upon his face had released him, or he had broken past it somehow. Were it not for the gooey skin he’d found on his face he might have been able to convince himself that he’d imagined the leathery wings and clawtips holding him down, that he had just snared himself in a bush (assuming there were bushes in these caves) and panicked. He certainly had had good reason to panic.

Looking around himself now, into the total darkness and feeling the dank heat of the place release moisture from his pores Jacob figured he still had good reason to panic now. He was lost, untold tunnels separated him from the outside and the outside itself and thousands of feet of air kept his own world at bay.

Still, Jacob was a practical lad – the Bublesnatch clan were of good stock in his home town of Ortheria and his grandfather’s strict discipline had encouraged him to learn many things (avoiding being caught was not one of them, and this most recent experience would scarcely have surprised the old man). Although he would probably not enjoy such sport in future, he had taken some pleasure in exploring the warrens of Host Lizards in the foothills of the Corrigible Mountains in whose shadows Ortheria prospered. They were a curious species who dedicated much time to digging holes and burrows with small cairns at surface level to indicate that the space was available for use. Many travellers took advantage of the beasts’ benevolence and used them as waystations or hostels. Some of the Guest Burrows were linked with a tunnel complex and Jacob had lost and found himself many times.

He tried to ignore the fact that he could not see and that unknown horrors lurked in the shadows. He closed his useless eyes and focussed on what he could hear. That deep breathing sound which his speeding heart had blurred was back, like the whole place was one huge rocky lung. It came and went, was louder and quieter as he turned on the spot, crouching and standing to get some conception of the space around him. Eyes still closed Jacob took a cautious step forwards, and another. A faint draught licked at his damp skin and encouraged fractionally swifter perambulation.

As he held closed his eyes he became aware of their continued irritation. He must have failed to extract some portion of that vile substance that still gummed up his eye lashes and brows. Damn but it itched. Absently he rubbed at his eye with a closed fist, but the itch only grew. Jacob tutted to himself and slapped the aggravating hand with his other, his grandfather’s chiding in mind. Instead he blinked heavily, attempting to force out whatever strand or sliver of ooze was caught round the ball of his eyes. His stepping faltered with the effort until he found himself pressing both palms to his eye sockets to squeeze out the prickling and prevent his further scratching. It felt like his eyes were alive and writhing within their skulled cups. He swore he could feel them like a bag of worms under his palms, rippling inside his squashed eyelids.

The distraction never quite prevented him from staggering in what he thought was almost a straight line. Each step was slow and wavered before touching the ground, as if through increased height he could relieve the pressure on his lidded orbs. Had he not been so abstracted he might have noticed when his right foot failed to find the floor in its usual place. If anything, beginning to fall forwards mashed his eye with greater satisfaction against his hand, and it was when the rest of him followed his foot over the hidden edge that he realised the error.

Next Week: Part 9 – The Abyss She Cries So Sweet

The Desert Crystals – Part Seven: This Hellish Hole (captainpigheart.com)
The Desert Crystals – Part Six: The Sweet Night Air (captainpigheart.com)
The Desert Crystals – Part Five: The Obsidian Eyrie (captainpigheart.com)
The Desert Crystals: part 4 The Frothing Horror (captainpigheart.com)
The Desert Crystals: part 3 The Edge of Night (captainpigheart.com)
The Desert Crystals: part 2 (captainpigheart.com)
The Desert Crystals: part 1 (captainpigheart.com)

Lego Blog: Lunchtime Building

May 15, 2013 by Nick

Packed Lego

The best lunchtime activity I’ve found is Lego. Reading is okay, but the phone rings. Writing is what I want to do, but the phone rings. Lego however… Lego drowns out the noise. That gentle shake of the case and the consequent rattle and shickling of the bricks gives me a very pleasant warm sensation. It’s nice. So for the last few weeks I’ve been toting a nice metal Ferrero Rocher tin with an assortment of Lego Friends, a bit of Chima and some other random bits and bobs. It’s a nice mix of odd bricks and colours and is proving nice to build and dismantle from.

An Idle Beginning

Without really intending to, I’ve been developing a story of sorts from my random buildings…

Deep in the suspiciously black and white tiled space…

It’s lonely out there.

Setting the Scene

This one seemed at it’s best out in the wild. The Lego Friends heads are frustrating to fit into ordinary Lego funtime. They fit well on a spike though. Our brave hunter has succeeded. He also has a bucket of water. Victory!

The next set became a bit more complicated. I’m pleased with the water section – it’s something to do with all those weird crystal Chima things. I just want to take them apart. But it gave a pleasing depth with the tall tree adding to the effect.

I’m looking forwards to further building, it’s good fun and very relaxing. Next I shall build robots again!

The fearsome invader takes a break

Aha!

I see you…

Maybe someone else is watching

Maybe I could take a paddle…

Lego Blog: Minifigure Madness (captainpigheart.com)
Lego Friends: My Best New Friends (captainpigheart.com)
Holy @#$%, Lego is making a steampunk line (io9.com)

Shankicide: Shivving with Death Poetry

May 14, 2013 by Nick

When does artistic expression become threatening? Presumably it’s as soon as we don’t like it. The most exciting response a person can have to art is when they feel it is about themselves. That doesn’t mean it is about them of course, they just think it is. Does that belief mean anything? Inasmuch as we hope to affect others with our art, whatever form it takes, then yeah I suppose that belief does mean something.

I’d be excited if someone read these poems and thought “gosh, I’m such a burden on the emotions and actions of others that yes, this exactly describes how I must make others feel”. Then they would be better people than I’d usually give them credit for.

Follow @shankanalia on Twitter for daily suffering.

Shankanalia - Shankicide: Shivving with Death Poetry

Alpha Cube
You make me want to kill things,
Hunt you through the woods
Or cubicle maze.
Pursue you with knives and rulers,
Measure you out,
Cut you down.

The Time Traveller’s Spite
Imagine how you could undo the past
By travelling through time:
Find your father,
Say hi,
Kill him before he inseminates
Your mum with his fate.

Effervescent with Emotional Bubbles
I see you struggle with control,
The passion bursting from your seams.
Just remember what we did to Jesus:
Nailed him to a fucking cross.
Contain yourself.

Diseases of The Mind
Just ‘cos you’re a fucking prick
Don’t imagine you’ll make me care
Beyond the irritation that you cause
With your gangrenous management infection

Not A Blame Culture
A problem shared
Is a problem doubled.
Double or nothing.
Do you want my half?
Swap?
Oh, they’re the same.
Stupid game,
Let’s just blame.

Your Shoes Don’t Fit
Fuck you-
Your thoughts,
Your feelings;
You hurt mine.
Lying
Evil
Cunt.
If I had your skin to wear
I’d burn it.
Don’t care how you feel:
Fuck you.

With Us, It’s Personal
Don’t send me worthless shit.
Hacked?
Boo hoo,
Face-sadness.
Fix your password,
Get a life.
Do they sell knives?
Buy one;
Bury it in you.

Related poetrical ramblings

Shankulation – The Screamery of Angry Poetry (captainpigheart.com)
Skankrabatic – The Sinuous Twist of Angry Poetry (captainpigheart.com)
Shanktimonious: Self-Righteous Angry Poetry (captainpigheart.com)
Shankbuddy – Convenient Hate Poems (captainpigheart.com)

Knickerbocker Glorious! Saturday 18th May

May 14, 2013 by Nick

There’s a new monthly street event starting in Derby Market Square. On the third Saturday of every month Furthest From The Sea will present four hours of live street entertainment – music, poetry, comedy and theatre.

Saturday the 18th May will see the Fountain area in the Cathedral Quarter, Derby host Knickerbocker Glorious – an inaugural, once a month celebration of the diverse artistic talent to be found in the City and the surrounding area.
Presented by the Cathedral Quarter and brought to you by Furthest From the Sea Records & Promotions, this free event will run from 11am till 3pm and is suitable for all ages.
Starring Josh Kemp, Harriet, Captain Pigheart, Mehiras Jewels, Leo Swarvett and Lily Gornall, and compered by our very own Tony Peppiatt…

Aye, ye saw me name a-right – I’ll be spinning me arguably not-child-friendly tales at these times: 12 – 12.10, 12.20 -12.30, 1.30 – 1.40, and 2.10 – 2.20pm.

Knickerbocker Glorious

This week, Monday 13th May 2013

May 13, 2013 by Nick

I Tawt I Taw A Busy Cat

My mistake – now I am busy! Last week was filled with the stressful misunderstandings that employment seems intended for. As such – not a lot of fun. Boo and tits to that. Next week looks to be far more full of activity, in addition to whatever diurnal nonsense transpires. I start teaching the next MissImp Improv Beginners course on Monday (with m’pal Parky) which will be ace but does further compress the week’s free time. I shall maintain my schedule!

What with all that marvellousness I’m saddened to say that I am already returning to a largely zero alcohol existence in order to remain sane and healthy. I am disappointed by this, not least because I adore the bottle of Singleton I opened this week. Oh well, at least the Bavaria 0.0% alternative I’ve settled on is only 25p per can…

Something that did sadden me this week was news of Ray Harryhausen’s death. It’s rare that I use the word tragedy, but that’s how his death feels. Although I have not one skill in common with the great man, his films have always inspired me and when I think of monsters, they are his.

♥ This week’s scribbles

Tuesday Shankicide: Shivving with Death Poetry

Back to a few poems of gentle frustration.

Wednesday Lego Blog: Lunchtime Building

Some people relax at work by going outside; I have a travelling Lego case.

Thursday The Desert Crystals – Part Eight: Running Blind

Darkness has swallowed the crew of The Dove’s Eye

Friday Film Review: Iron Man 3 (2013)

Ron’s back! And he has friends as well as splendid new enemies.

Updates on my thrilling life

Writing

I like a good old rant and normally I turn to Shankanalia to achieve that, but the week before last some stuff happened that really crawled up my urethra. What I found pleasing about ranting in this case was how diverse the subject felt. Before I knew it I’d banged out a thousand words on the stuff – hence last Tuesday’s sort-of-essay on Interpretation. I’m concerned that continuing to find space even for the little writing I’m doing at the moment is going to get harder – how do other people keep it up?! (And why is there no interrobang key on my keyboard?)

This week I hope to steer The Desert Crystals more or less back on course. This nasty skywards turn was never part of the story! I guess that’s why people plan ahead. My stories always feel to me much more like the stuff I do on stage with MissImp.

Last week’s scribbles

Tuesday Autofiction: Accusation and Prejudice Context and judgement afflict us all, how should we make decisions?

Wednesday Live Storytelling: A Story from MissImp in Action When I get to monologise on stage it gets weird, quickly.

Thursday The Desert Crystals – Part Seven: This Hellish Hole Darkness has swallowed the crew of The Dove’s Eye.

Friday Film Review: Olympus Has Fallen (2013) It’s Die Hard in the White House!

Lego

As I mentioned last week I’ve been mostly fingering my bricks at lunchtime. Well, that and having a jolly good re-sort over the weekend when I found another suitable box. Categorising your Lego really does bring out the OCD in a person.It’s insanely satisfying to sift through the boxes, removing colours and shapes to whatever insane demands your organising brain screams at you. I go mainly by colour, or utility of colour. I’m very fond of woodland stuff, so greens and browns all get mixed in together. Blacks and greys (all 20 shades) get separated out, as do white and tan. I also segregate little fiddly bits that I think might come in useful, and when I’m building that can become rather full. Primary colours I use least of all and am least fond of so they get heaped up together.

I have much more time for the pastel stuff of Lego Friends, but I don’t have enough to justify a separate box. What shall I do?! Oh, there’s a missing box as well – I keep oddments of minifig accessories, transparent parts and well, things I like in another box. I’m limited to what I can stuff under the sofas, although a worrying amount is currently in models at present. And Jabba’s Palace and a LoTR set remain unopened upstairs…

Improv Comedy

Due to rage last week I missed Fisticuffs – probably for the best as I wasn’t fit for company. We did have Gorilla Burger though which seemed to go well. It’s evidence of my broken mind that I couldn’t tell whether it was going well at the time. I am now better. Excitingly we begin the Improv Beginners course this week. We have a dinky group of 7 so far, and it would be nice to get 8 or 9 but if not, those delightful 7 will have a lot of attention lavished on them. Woop. I’ve taught lots of introductory workshops and endless weekly jams but I’ve never had this particular intensity of time with a group. I’m looking forwards to it.