Talk Like A Pirate Day 2012 – more pirate stories

Talk Like A Pirate DayAnother heap o’ finely honed pirate yarns to excite yer faces and make ye wish you had but one leg and eye:

Captain Pigheart’s Heroical Adventure

Admiral Kneehorn imprisons me mates, tis up to me and a poppy-addled crew to save them.
Tragedy Strikes Mistress Squidlington’s All Singing All Dancing Cockle Club

Tis rarely wise to have an undersea bar open to the sea.
The Blissfully Brief Tale of Luckless Larry and King Clam

The King of the Merfolk’s a testy bugger – leave him well alone.
The Slut-Mouthed Toad

Nature’s a frequently vile thing which interrupts the sweetest o’ moments.
Captain Pigheart’s Paternal Adventure

Or, How The Noble Captain Abraham Seaflange Rescued Me From Ye Orphanage.
Captain Pigheart’s Assassination Adventure

Me early days spent in paid hits with Hamish McMuffin on assassinatory assignations.
Captain Pigheart’s Gastronomical Adventure

In the jungle there’s a wealth of tasty beasts, sometimes they fight back.
Captain Pigheart’s Exquisite Mermaid Adventure

Ahar, I venture below the waves for a taste o’ merwenchery.
Captain Pigheart’s Buoyant Adventure

When a pirate’s ship’s stranded on a sandbank there’s few tales such as ‘James and The Giant Peach’ which we’ll not plunder for inspiration.
Captain Pigheart’s Misfortunate Mate Adventure

The disaster-strewn life of First Mate Billy No Mates.
Captain Pigheart’s Terrified Adventure

Time travel, dinosaurs and a crewmate obsessed with finding a new outfit.
Captain Pigheart’s Hermitage Adventure

In a fit o’ depression I seek refuge in a colony of hermit crabs.
Captain Pigheart’s Reparative Adventure

Me many crimes lead me to justice, and the need to escape from it.
Captain Pigheart’s Cetacean Adventure

A Finnish whale punching holiday goes horribly wrong.
Captain Pigheart’s Stowaway Adventure

A curious recluse lurks in the bowels of our ship, but for good or ill?
Captain Pigheart’s Birthday Party Adventure

Aye, it’s me birthday, gonna get presents and drink a lot and get attacked by a sea monster.
Ye Dastardly Pirate Prairie Dogs

Cute though they seem, when ye encounter wild prairie mutts of the ocean ye’ll smile no more.
The Hubristic Adventure

When a man steals all of ye proudest moments, ye have to fight back.
The Moist Pirate

A quiet evenin’s conversation on the whale ale.
An Amorous Pirate

Captain Loveheart struts the best of his chat up lines.

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