Ahar ye landlubbers! There’s no finer way to honour ye pirate forebears than by reading their tales. Here’s a slew o’ pirate stories to fill ye eyes and tongues with piratical words and deeds. Read ’em to your kids, or yer mates:
Brine madness, sea monsters and the things two pirates get up to when they’re floating alone on the ocean.
The love of a mermaid’s a fine thing – romantic, sensual, fishy…
Ahar – and what would you do when a giant turtle swallows ye vessel?
Tis not all swashing and slashing. Oftentimes there be love. And betrayal.
Gaargh, marooned in the town of Merkin, addicted to opium – escape is but a tortoise’s throw away
Pirates come in all shapes and sizes, some of them ladies’ sizes
Zombies do little to improve the season of good will to all men.
Do you believe in Santa Claus? We didn’t till we blasted him out of the sky.
When carnivorous plants start attacking yer ship it just might be the end of the world.
Never take up a bet with crab fishermen. They lie and cheat and try to feed ye to giant crabs.
Even a nice balloon trip can go horribly wrong when you land in a country filled with evil scarecrows.
Burying treasure can get complicated when ye’ve a puppeteer named Olivio di Pederasti on board.
Amorous whales, man-penguin hybrids and no sense of direction beset us at one of the poles
Full on pirate ship rave when the Sirens arrive to beguile us
Imprisonment in the wizard’s tower doesn’t suit me – thankfully I’ve got magic teeth
Fear the moon – and the were-jellies!
Have ye ever seduced a wench with hair of snakes? Don’t.
A mad cuttlefish loving cult take over our safe harbour – we take it back.