Talk Like A Pirate Day 2012 – Pirate Stories

Talk Like A Pirate DayAhar ye landlubbers! There’s no finer way to honour ye pirate forebears than by reading their tales. Here’s a slew o’ pirate stories to fill ye eyes and tongues with piratical words and deeds. Read ’em to your kids, or yer mates:

The Lost at Sea Adventure

Brine madness, sea monsters and the things two pirates get up to when they’re floating alone on the ocean.

The Mermaid Adventure

The love of a mermaid’s a fine thing – romantic, sensual, fishy…

The Chelonian Adventure

Ahar – and what would you do when a giant turtle swallows ye vessel?

The Romantical Adventure

Tis not all swashing and slashing. Oftentimes there be love. And betrayal.

Captain Pigheart All Washed Up

Gaargh, marooned in the town of Merkin, addicted to opium – escape is but a tortoise’s throw away

Captain Pigheart and the Wenchly Lad

Pirates come in all shapes and sizes, some of them ladies’ sizes

The Accursed Christmas

Zombies do little to improve the season of good will to all men.

The Little Christmas Tale

Do you believe in Santa Claus? We didn’t till we blasted him out of the sky.

The Triffic Adventure

When carnivorous plants start attacking yer ship it just might be the end of the world.

The Crustacean Adventure

Never take up a bet with crab fishermen. They lie and cheat and try to feed ye to giant crabs.

Captain Pigheart in the Valley of Seth

Even a nice balloon trip can go horribly wrong when you land in a country filled with evil scarecrows.

The String Along Adventure

Burying treasure can get complicated when ye’ve a puppeteer named Olivio di Pederasti on board.

The Polar Adventure

Amorous whales, man-penguin hybrids and no sense of direction beset us at one of the poles

The Bangin’ Choon Adventure

Full on pirate ship rave when the Sirens arrive to beguile us

The Orthodontic Odyssey

Imprisonment in the wizard’s tower doesn’t suit me – thankfully I’ve got magic teeth

The Gelatinous Adventure

Fear the moon – and the were-jellies!

Captain Pigheart and The Scary Lady

Have ye ever seduced a wench with hair of snakes? Don’t.

The Theological Adventure

A mad cuttlefish loving cult take over our safe harbour – we take it back.

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