Ahoy me seasonal ship mates! Tis time once more to make merry and be-grog oneself till ye fall overboard with nary a snicker. Aye, tis time to take comfort from ye fellows in whatever way ye sees fit. Tis a time for piracy and the festive relief o’ what artifacts ye might find under the roofs and boards of ye neighbours. I were recently bemused by a rebuke of me piratical ways and lightening of such material burdens as ye might have.
Now mistakes me not, I’d not countenance the thievin’ from ye poor on Christmas Eve, for what might be the point? The very fact o’ their poverty makes their wares o’ no worth. No – aims ye for the gilden windows of ye elite – at the least ye can extract the liver-stuffed goose awaitin’ their silver-spooned teeth marks. So make a point of it this Christmas – steal from ye rich and give to yeself; tis almost certain that ye’ve earned it.
So – in ye manner of Christmas spirit (make mine a rum) here’s a smidgeon o’ cheer from ye unnecessarily affectionate pirate. Ye might hear the odd mewl from Idle, me ship’s cougar in the background. Feel free to share far and wide:
Ye Little Christmas Tale:
In a spatterin’ of Christmassy cheer I’ve added ye most festive of me tales below for ye pleasure:
Should ye wish to read a-web…
For thems with a yearnin’ for alternate formats, ye shall find ye miracle o’ PDF here:
Captain Pigheart’s Little Christmas Tale
Captain Pigheart’s Polar Adventure
Captain Pigheart’s Accursed Christmas
And should ye be of Kindle-ish persuasion ye may email me and I’ll send ye the marvel direct.
Have a magnificently indulgent Christmas and I’ll gaaargh at ye in the New Yule.