Advertising For The Grand Budapest Hotel

If You Like This Film, You Will Want These Things

idiot advertsWe went to see the splendid The Grand Budapest Hotel on Saturday (I’ll review it tomorrow, promise) and I was struck by the adverts leading up to it. I made a note of them, because otherwise I wouldn’t remember them – sorry advertising executives but all your hard work means fuck all to me.
Presumably though, they make some effort to put relevant ads before at least some films. These are the ads we got for Wes Anderson‘s latest film:
  1. Red Bull – we are shown two tough British cross country cyclists. They seem very good, if nervous about talking to the camera. The message? Some people are really good at cycling, but even they get hurt badly. Will a weird tasting caffeine drink help?
  2. Premature Ejaculation – a pair of matches having sex burn their heads. See firingtooquickly.co.uk
  3. FT Weekend – read a another dull weekend newspaper supplement in the style of a florist’s James Bond intro.
  4. BMW – a car that growls like a pissed off cougar farting. Doesn’t bode well for the engine. The sound the car makes is all they have left to distinguish their brand.
  5. McDonalds – desperately grasping at the poorly made coffee market (already nailed by Starbucks)
  6. Coke Zero – literally adds nothing…

There were also adverts for Sky and EE but I can’t face explaining why I hate those again. In summary, advertisers think that if you are interested in The Grand Budapest Hotel you will be a sofa-bound adrenaline junkie who cums too fast but dreams of being middle-class enough to read the Financial Times in some crappy car while driving to eat fast food, drink bad coffee and pretend to be healthy by drinking caramelised piss water. Yup, nailed this demographic right here…

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