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Mental Health Track 046

Bit wonky getting to sleep, but semi-resolved with a gentle touch of self-medication… It’s not a good habit, but worth giving a shot occasionally. Two things for me to note relating to that. One, finishing a book and starting a new one in bed is not helpful. Generally, one of my go to methods for phasing myself into sleep is by placing myself in the environment of the story I’m reading, but that only works if I’m still in it – a finished book doesn’t work, for y’know, brain reasons. I did very much enjoy Max Gladstone’s epic-feeling Last Exit, even if the ending leaves me with many questions. I don’t mind ambiguous endings, but there’s a whole wealth of possibility there I’d just like to know a teeny bit more. However, I also know I shouldn’t try to sleep without a book on the go. Knowing that I’ll be away from home for a night later in the week I cannot be arsed to lug actual bulky paper about so I just started the more-or-less next book on the Kindle. That’s a very rare non-fiction book for me – I read The Rise and Fall of the Dinosaurs by Steve Brusatte a couple of years ago and found it ace and very engaging. It seems dinosaurs are one of the few real things I can stand to read about! The follow up is The Rise and Reign of the Mammals, which is just as involving and interesting. Alas, starting it before bedtime meant I had to read the prologue and introduction before even getting into the meat of the diapsids and synapsids (hello ultimate grandad). That delay and fucking about with books kept me up just that little bit too long. Slightly – but not devastatingly – vexed I sought a classic quick fix to relaxing and dozing off. And that brings me to the second point: it didn’t work. Helped me to lie down and chill out a bit, but didn’t knock me out or draw on sleep noticeably quicker, though the mug of chai that went with it was nice. So the late-night, last minute self-medication route that is ever a temptation just doesn’t work – worth remembering and believing.

Anyhoo, I’m up and about at the proper time, doing exercise and scribbled. I feel reasonably positive about getting on with stuff. I’ve taken tentative steps towards making some plans in the summer, which feels good as well, though they are very much preliminary. I am a little sad that the sunny weather of Saturday seems to be vanished, but I’m glad we had the unusual fortune to spend most of it outside. Thankfully I spent most of the rest of the weekend inside; god forbid I’d develop a shade beyond my crypt pallor.

Mental Health Track

A purposeful daily attempt to track how I feel and what I’m doing.

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