‘Hoe!’
‘I beg your pardon’
‘Just saving what I see’
‘Kiss my arse’
‘Look who’s all touchy’
‘My arse, your face’
‘Nice.’
‘Oh grow up’
‘Perhaps we should start again’
‘Quickly before I stab you with something’
‘Raking it all over again am I?’
‘Sometimes I really dislike you’
‘Touche’
‘Unless you’re going to buy something, can we just go please’
‘Vases, great big stone garden vases’
‘Why…?’
‘eXpecting something more masculine?’
‘You can buy whatever you want’
‘Zebras! Huge plastic zebras’
‘And if you get one you’ll never get back in the house’
‘But it would great in the front garden’
‘Cock’
‘Don’t start that again – it’s retail time’
‘Everyone thinks you’re a dick’
‘Fork you’
‘Going now… Bye’

Terrible Dreams Made Into Stories: The Swans
The Swans The bodies were found, finally, stretched out on the battered wooden boards of the old comprehensive school. It had been closed and derelict for years, a spooky ghost