Follow Captain Pigheart on

Alphabetic Dialogues 10 – The Moist Pirate

The good Captain Ignatius Pigheart and his friend Horatio the Hermit are spending a penny or two in ye another Scandinavian bar. Their conversation degrades along with the whale ale.

HH ‘Tis damp out’
IP ‘Unnervin’ skill ye have there Horatio, o’ notin’ ye matters o’ least note’
HH ‘Verily was a worshipped as a Seer in the lands of me youth’
IP ‘Worshipped? Whipped I’d reckon closer to the tellery’
HH ‘eXcelling in the reading of the future was no beatable fate’
IP ‘Ye hide bears testament to a differin’ past’
HH ‘Zealots of mine enemies rose against me, jealous of my powers of foresight Ignatius’
IP ‘And so ye lurks in a cave ‘pon ye ocean’s snatch?’
HH ‘Belittling my gifts diminishes them not at all’
IP ‘Cuttin’ ye own guts out and bestrewin’ their lyin’ twists upon the floor might fray ye skills’
HH ‘Doubtless you’ve never had occasion to consult with one of my own profession, then?’
IP ‘Every seaman tosses himself into the wind no matter the squawkin’ of ye gut-wranglers’
HH ‘For shame Ignatius, have not I plotted your course true this night at least’
IP ‘Gods man, ye take credit even for the cooin’ night-lasses whose throaty tune lures us from ship to tavern?’
HH ‘Hark, doubting Ignatius’
IP ‘I be harkin”
HH ‘Just – be still and at peace a moment’
IP ‘Kill the blasted seal and tell me of me future then’
HH ‘Let me just… ah’
IP ‘Mark me! Tis a miracle the beastie could fit all that inside him, however did he float?’
HH ‘Now, within the swerving entrails I see your path – a dark, doubting path’
IP ‘Oho, tis rightful sir, for I’d scarce trust the tattered bridge that wends about the village here’
HH ‘Pestilence upon your mockery! The prophet’s eye is open and sees you through’
IP ‘Quiet you, lest ye wish to remain upon this wretched rock come morning’
HH ‘Resisting the future will bring you only pain Ignatius. Fight not the truth of my augury, for you flail futilely against my foretellings. Pain, pain!’
IP ‘So ye be stayin’ here in Mudflapperson then Horation?’
HH ‘There are many interpretations a man can draw from the innards of a seal. Mayhap I’ll cast again.’

The Adventures of Captain Ignatius Pigheart

Similar Stuff

Share This Thing

Leave a Reply