The World Is Broken 
Some days I could just let the world burn, sit back in a deckchair with a bottle of beer and watch everyone just tear themselves into thin strips of dead flesh and lay them across their own special barbecues of stupidity. Alright, that’s most days. I don’t consider the unique and mundane stupidity that affects all of us to be unduly problematic, by sheer balance of hatreds a lot of that gets evened out between ourselves. I think it’s those who initiate or encourage the eye-bleeding idiocy that really wind me up.
I’d also allow that I’m not especially noted amongst those who know me for remaining entirely calm. I am easily driven to anger, but it’s a passing, easily dissipated fury. Sometimes it gusts through me for days and it’s like catching fire again. Things I don’t like: lies, wankers, bigots and incompetence. That’s just today’s list obviously. Oh, and laziness- not that random idleness where one might spend an evening or weekend in idle dalliance, but proper laziness that causes purpose and competence to elude a person leaving them just fucking useless.
A lot of hatred and stupidity is ignorance I suppose, but I find I dislike a common current use of ‘ignorant’ to mean rudeness. I’ve always thought of it more as a lack of knowledge or understanding, in the sense that you can fix ignorance with learning and experience, but rudeness is just someone deliberately being a wanker. It follows, then (to me) that it’s doubly inexcusable to be deliberately ignorant; to refuse to expand or consider one’s actions and beliefs is to dehumanise oneself.
An Object of Hatred
Now and again you bump into the odd thing or person which feels as if it exemplifies all that stupid arsehole paradise world. This week it was in B and N Bargains – a great discount store where we find lots of useful and reasonably priced things. They also had this – it’s a handy little device to help you judge and quantify your fellow human beings.
Obviously this is a novelty gift, of the sort you might give someone if you or they consider the female half of our species to be only noteworthy if they meet your personal high standards. Because they should; I mean, how could they possibly exist without knowing and attending to your shallow aesthetic hatred? What a lovely gift: “I think you are the kind of twat who would stand in a bar and use this to count those you consider worthy.”
If you see this, and think you have someone (who you like enough to buy a present for) who would like this then maybe just should just kill them and yourself. That is the greatest possible contribution you could make. Don’t worry about all the people who will go unclicked, unlisted, unrated by you and your diamond of a pal: they’ll be fine. They’ll be just fine.
Maybe you think that’s a little harsh. I’m okay with that. I’d be interested to know what the values and vision of the producing company are. I imagine it’s something like “to demoralise and belittle our fellow humans”. Even better, it costs only £1.49 to make other people feel like shit. That’s a bargain. We should all get those and click our little wanker hearts out.
I realise this is a joke gift of some kind, I mean, wouldn’t it be hilarious to diminish each other, y’know to not only judge others by their attractiveness, but also yourself by whether they give a flying fuck about you. What part of that makes sense? This is bad for everybody.
Already got one? Use it? Go fuck yourself.
Other Things I Hate