All Of You
I’ve had a good few days in the last fortnight when I could cheerfully have killed everyone I’ve ever met, followed by myself. I would have been equally content doing it the other way round. It’s not a marvellous state to be in. The sheer internal vibrations threaten to shake a fellow to pieces.
Thank goodness there’s whiskey, and sleep and occasional poems.
I’m genuinely baffled that there aren’t more killing sprees and general outbursts of insanity from people pushed to the edge of their tolerance zone. It probably speaks well of us that we usually manage to cram it down inside into self-loathing instead. Yeah, that’s ace.
Anger management tip of the week
If someone (or the world) makes you really angry, just reflect on the fact that one day they’ll all be dead.
You can follow @shankanalia on Twitter for live outbursts, and you can listen to some of the poems on Reverbnation.com/CaptainPigheart.
The Joy of Angry Poetry
It’s Good That We Had A Chance To Talk
You know what?
Fuck you.
That’s the apology you’re due.
Fuck you.
It reflects my contempt,
Disrespect,
And disregard
For your bullshit.
Fuck you.
Fundamental
If I could punch you hard enough
I’d smash apart your genome.
Watch you shatter,
Writhe
And meld.
Chimeric retardation-
Scream and wail.
Finger eyes.
King Of The Hill
You’re an apex fuckwit,
Dumber than all the rest,
Squatting on
Your mountain of moron bones.
Empty skulls
Witless gaping
Stupid to the marrow.
Seeing The Difference
I wanna stab you people in the eyes;
Take your vision.
Make it what it should be-
The colour of blindness,
Pain and humiliation
And return ‘em backwards.
I Feel We’ve Connected
Oh!
Good lord
You answered the fucking phone
Well done you.
And oh,
What’s that?
You don’t understand?
Then don’t pick up
The fucking phone.
Blending In Well
Nutsack
Pigeon-dick,
Feed you up on spit,
Toss you off a roof.
Slap down,
Face down-
Gravel fleshed,
Bruise scented,
Scab-hearted
Toss wretch twat.
Chilled
Oh fuck you:
You never want to know.
Shove your head
Inside your arse
And inflate,
You fucking
Waste of space.
Welcome to low Earth orbit-
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0 thoughts on “Beer Review: Four Zero Alcohol Beers”
Entertaining, and informative; wonderful! I shall be sure to give the Erdinger a try, I’m not against the idea of having a regular weekday tipple which comes free of alcohol.
Thanks! I had fun trying three of them. I’m drinking Erdinger right now…
Great article. Excellent info but it does of course encourage me to try the Becks Blue for curiosity value! Personally I favour Fentimans Ginger Beer for an old fashioned zingy tingle when I am off the booze.
Thanks Spangles! Fentiman’s do do excellent ginger beer, I alternated that with Nanny State last night.
I’d advise against the Beck’s Blue unless you have the senseless mouth of a dead camel. I’ll pay my respects at your CAMRA funeral…
I stopped drinking for a couple of years, and decided to start trying low/alcohol-free beers. I ordered pretty much every single one online available.
The German ones were the best, but I still did not find one that really tasted like beer.
I then got back into real beer again when I discovered that ICE cold beer tastes so much better. then I got diabetes, so now I have to stop again.
Tesco seems to have quite a good range now, but the only one I found that really tasted like beer was brewdog, which is very hoppy, which I do not like.
Today I was in Sainsbury and spotted the CZECH beer, and to my surprise, it actually tastes like beer, to the point I think I can happily drink this.
I have seen the Erdinger many times before, but never bothered with it due to the fact it says isotonic drink, so I just assumed it would be crap. I will give it a try next time.
oh and yes Becks Blue is vile piss water 🙂
It’s truly an appalling drink. To give a worse hangover than the alcoholic version is staggering.
Sainsbury’s had four new alcohol free beers the other day! I’m due another tasting session. The new Brewdog raspberry sour is especially good.