I permitted myself a small lie-in this morning, in honour of it being May or something. That was also influenced by Geiger waking me up before seven because he wanted food and outdoors. We have had words about that, but at least he was just ah-wah-ing at me rather than getting a claw up under the duvet to spike me awake. It felt OK to go back to sleep after that. I have little to report today other than that I’m enjoying the burst of summery weather and it looks like it’s been enough to bring on the blossom of our lilac tree. That’s a gratifying thing which I have no influence or responsibility for whatsoever. Soon it’ll even be time to have my office window wide open all day. I’m looking forward to that.
I never really know what to do with bank holidays. I rarely note that they’re coming up and thus fail to make plans of any kind (except next weekend, but I’d argue that was all other people!) I shall take this one as a spare day for a little recuperation in advance of the next few weeks of action. There should always be more time for reading and other nice quiet things.
Shifting down to just one amitriptyline didn’t seem to make a lot of difference last night. I went to bed a little later, because it’s the weekend and both TV and books punt time along differently. It’s somewhat frustrating to be unable to dig deeper into what is or isn’t working. Hard to do a control where I skip some or all parts of the routine or drugs seems unwise and unhelpful. Instead I guess I need to stick to the idea that it’s going to be a blend of these things, and all I’m really doing is removing one small element. Oddly I rather liked the aesthetic balance of just one amitriptyline tablet in my evening cocktail – one of each pill looks quite neat. Keeping up with exercise, getting up at a good o’clock appear to helping in ensuring that I’m more or less ready to go to bed later on. More of this, I guess. I’m interested to see how the rest of this week goes. I’d very much like to be all bright and perky for next weekend, but there isn’t really an ideal time to ditch the drugs and get myself together. I shall have to trust myself to crash appropriately, knowing that I only have a two day week afterwards as well. Much devastation to structure and routine! I’ll have to put some thought into what exercise I should do when I don’t have my kit handy because I am not lugging kettle bells across the country. I suppose that I’m even thinking about it is a good thing, in contrast to my possibly sliding brain yesterday. It’s possible I’ve even listened to myself for a change…