Ahar! My name is Captain Ignatius Pigheart and I welcome ye to me tales of misadventure, mirth and piracy on the high seas. Perhaps ye likes pirate stories of the beasts of the sea, or romance midst the ocean’s spume. Mayhap tis yarns o’ family and the bonds twixt one pirate and his fellow. Aye, ye’ll find ’em all in these pages. Me favourite things are wenches, rum, violence. And tiddly-winks. Mermaids, sea-battles, a blind grope in ye dark, breedin’ neutered cuttlefish, grog, whale ale, the congress o’ the manatee and the sloth, poor-punchin’, the smell o’ brine in the mornin’ and fish in the evenin’.